In class we are reading Cola de lagartija and it is beautiful. Our weapons are letters, it says. And in my own novel we are trying to create a menacing atmosphere, a feeling of doom, the claustrophobia of being caught among competing pressures, and I realize it was never really I who said I should not be an academic. It was everyone else. Ask me even now: I still want to do high level research with political implications, and talk to humane and cosmopolitan people, spend time with sane adults. I have now watched two old lectures, one by Noam Chomsky and another by Judith Herman; I had professors like them; if I can be like them I will enjoy growing old.
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